Our Best Self Help

Becuz it is inhuman to kill another human. One cannot change the mind of someone who is inhuman to those who are.

Cynical as it may sound, the authors of these books know that the hurt and vulnerable are more likely to buy something geared towards helping them than those who victimize. However, I have seen books geared towards helping those who are hurting themselves (i.e. cutting, anorexia, etc).

Those who victimize others are most likely not going to acknowledge that what they do is wrong so why put books out on the market for them?

I don’t have a proper answer, just had to chime in and say this is a really, really good question. Thanks for posting it.

The notion is that before one becomes a perpetrator that they once were a victim first.

It is believed when the victim addresses their victimization that they stop being the perpetrator.

It’s unusual to find someone who hurts themselves or who hurts who others who was not victimized by another in some way.

It’s the victims that you be afraid of in many cases. When they start seeking revenge, others become victimized.

People tend not to identify themselves as the perpetrators, because even if they have committed violence, they were the victim in another way. Maybe they were abused at some point or they they are the “victim” of addiction. They relate more to being a victim than the offender, because people generally want to see themselves as “good”. The people who don’t care to see themselves as “good” are generally sociopaths or psychopaths and those aren’t typically people who care about self-help books. So ultimately, self-help books geared towards victims sell.

Other than commercial aspects there is not much use for them. The real gratifying self help knowledge comes from like minded people not books.

Since Freud, the West has viewed itself as a society of victims and the trend has gotten worse as time has marched on.

It is not my fault! It is the fault of my mother, father, the teacher who did not respond to my needs, the doctor, the lawyer, my siblings, this person or that person, etc., etc., etc. ad infinitum….

Then it is not their fault as they also have a list of those who caused all of the problems and so it goes from generation back to generation until you reach “Adam” who blames “God” for having made him that way…

In that mythology, the buck seems to stop with God as he has no one to blame that we are aware of.

It is called “irresponsibility” where no one wants to take personal responsibility for his or her actions as well as thinking only of one’s self.

There are many books directed towards those who want to take responsibility for them selves and how they have treated others. Thich Naht Hanh, His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama, and a host of Western adherents to the live philosophy of Buddhism literally fill shelves of most bookstores with such works.

namaste.

Waiting for a Lion to change its mind is pointless.

If you want something helpful, that HAS a point
Sharpen a stick.

You will find instructions in a self help book.

There should be books for people that hurt themselves. They are victims of themselves. People that hurt others(mentally or physically?) may have a mental illness that prevents them from seeing the wrong in their actions and don’t feel the need to seek help.

The great variety of self-help books out there do not help people to truly get rid of whatever issues they might have but (some unintentionally and due to poor knowledge, while others completely intentionally) try to deepen people’s problems by focusing on them INSTEAD OF EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE!
There are no victims nor predators.
Everything is in your mind only.
People only very much like to focus on their problems instead of dealing as if they don’t have any problems at all.
People focus on deepening and deepening of the bad and hurting instead of the Light and Balance.
IF every single person and all people were focusing on WHAT THEY WANT but NOT on what they want to get rid of – everybody would be much more emotionally and psychologically healthy and the whole society too.

Not all self-help books are geared to victims. Think of diet or exercise books.
To address your point, the aggressive personality is more outward looking and does not feel any need for improvement or correction, while the passive, victim type of personality is inward looking and feels the need to reach out for solutions.

http://www.hayhouseradio.com/ The author Louise Hay was a poor girl who was sexually abused as a child & you can read about her on your own but she went from this to becoming a very rich women. She has helped more people than anyone I know of & she owns the largest self-help publishing house. HAYHOUSE. I couldn’t get a link that would work but try to go to the site where you can see all her authors. They have been there but you were not ready to see them. When the student is ready the teacher appears.

Because, and this is the insanity of our world revealed, we ALL think of ourselves as victims and no one thinks of themselves as a perpetrator!

There’s a great self-help book aimed at *anyone* who can look at themselves honestly that basically states you are NOT a victim no matter how much you think you are and you are probably much more of a perpetrator than you think too.

It is a fantastic read! It’s called The Bonds That Set Us Free, by C Terry Warner and there’s a write-up of the book here http://www.selfhelpcollective.com/self-help-books.html